The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here!

Or rather our Citrus Lane box is here! Our Citrus Lane box is here! (PS- If you don't know that quote, watch The Jerk with Steve Martin... muy funny) Ermahgerd, can I tell you how excited I was for this gem to show up on our doorstep? It was like Christmas all over again, except for real because I didn't have to tell anyone what I wanted!

Here's a few pics of Whit enjoying our spoils. Pardon the cruddy iPhone pics!

Something new! Naturally, in the mouth...

Art cards!

Those were the two big hits for Whitman in the box. There was also a pair of really nice organic socks, which I'm not gonna lie I was all like "So-ocks?" like a kid getting underwear for Christmas. There was a couple of nutrition packets for babies that were a little weird. Whit spent about five minutes trying to rip them free of their plastic wrap... he's a little proud of his teeth. I'm not sure if we'll actually use them, I think they'll get put in one of our emergency stashes. I don't know, powdered peas, really?

We also got a tube of Calendula Weather Protection Cream which has been wonderful for these last cold days. I just wish we had gotten it sooner, we had such a hard time with Whit's cheeks getting chapped all the time. I've heard there's usually a treat for moms in these boxes as well, but if you google March's box you'll see a lot of grumbling about our little gift. It was a $20 off code for justfab.com... but only for new customers... and you get that discount already... lame.

All in all, it wasn't a bad deal, especially since I got half off the box. And I'm just as excited about next month's box! If you'd like to give it a try, and get $10 off your order, you can sign up here. The best thing about it (aside from the goodies) is you can cancel any time, so no pressure!

52 Weeks: Week 12

Cold and snow again this week! Except today, which was a balmy 51 degrees and let us get a walk in. Thank goodness, I needed the workout. Because I'm afraid I'll be embarassed Saturday for the Color Run! Over the weekend Ben's dad and stepmom drove through town twice and visited a little both times. Allowing Whit to try his first Thai... just kidding! I did give him a few bean sprouts to chew on, and he tore those suckers up. But most of the week was spent watching Whit becoming a great crawler. He would venture about a foot then sit, look at me and start clapping. It's so cute that he's congratulating himself on going further and further. And thank goodness he doesn't care too much about things around him yet, I've been slowly babyproofing around whatever he notices. He'll point out an outlet, and I'll say "thank you, you're right, I should put a cover on that" as I'm doing so. The more and more he explores, the closer and closer I get to just wrapping him in bubble wrap and calling it a day!

Let's get real for a minute

Last week Whit and I had a rough time with each other. He cried when I held him, he cried when I sat him down anywhere, he cried during diaper changes, he cried in the car, he cried during bottles. Nothing made him happy, and I was at my wits end. I never spoke harshly to him, though I wanted to. I would just mutter something to myself about how angry and annoyed I was. The worst part was I could imagine myself yelling at him or putting on the ground harder than necessary. Please understand I DID NOT DO THAT. But I could see myself doing it. I freaked out, calmed myself with Whit and made it until Ben got home.

That night and the next day I kept thinking that my temper is not normal, my thoughts are not right and that I need to find help. But I haven't really any idea on how to start. So, being the I so don't care what you think kind of gal I am, I posted my situation on Facebook and asked my friends if they had any advice. And it was like opening an emotional floodgate. A few moms commented on how they had issues with the baby blues or even full blown postpartum depression. A few people offered where I could start looking. A few friends reminded me that they themselves were therapists and I could call if I ever needed to. And a few people even said they were glad that I posted something like that, because it's disheartening to only see shiny, happy people on Facebook all the time.

The consensus was definitely: get help, do it now, and if they prescribe pills, take them.

Back in September during my follow ups, I was prescribed two things for what we thought might be PPD back then. Xanax for brief anxiety attacks and Zofran for the long term feelings. I tried the Xanax one night when I couldn't calm myself down, but then slept through Whit crying. No more of that. I thought about the Zoloft, but I just couldn't bear the thought of more pills. So I thought I would start exercising again and between that and going back on birth control would do it for me. And it did, for a while. Then Thanksgiving came, then Christmas. And I was feeling a lot of the nasty feelings during Christmas too, but I chalked it up to my husband working retail during Christmas always sucks. Then I had two baby showers to help with, then a nephew born. And now... nothing.

I can tell it's depression now for sure. The things that really made me stop and think were the bad day with Whit, and my appetite has been insane. I constantly think of eating, which has never been a problem for me before. I joked with Ben that maybe I was pregnant again, because it's the same kind of ravenous feeling.

Anyway, I've read a few blog posts and articles about people downing on Pinterest and blogger moms that seem to do it all, and how most moms feel this need to do everything. And after my Facebook post and the response I got, I just think we need to be a little more real. And I think I need to define why I have this blog to begin with. So in the next few days, I will have a why am I even doing this page, because my whole intent was to be real with myself and others about this journey. When I was pregnant all I would read about is these women that had no morning sickness, could still work out really hard, knit clothes AND still fit into their pre-pregnancy jeans 34 weeks in. And that was very much not the case for me, and it was tough finding other people that went through the same obstacles. It's a relief knowing someone else had some trials, that you're not the only person who's still trying to lose some of that weight, that other people have a hard time keeping a clean house!

So. I will make that page. I will get some help (in fact I got a recommendation for the therapist this afternoon from a friend) and tell you about it. And just for shits and giggles, I'm thinking of taking pictures of my house and posting them so you can see a what normal looks like around here, in case you're wondering.

Mommy and Me

I begged Ben to take a few pictures of me and Whit after getting home from story time since I actually looked nice (thank you skinny jeans that fit finally!). But Whit was insanely fascinated with my necklace, so all of them are some variation of this, ha! Guess I'll look into teething necklaces after all...

Thrift store score!

I seriously have no idea where to put it or what to do with it (I'm debating on painting it), but it makes my heart sing. Until I see the reflections off it at night... totally thought there were three tiny ghosts in the stud last night, ha! Plus, the price was ridiculous. Normally it's close to $200, but I got it for $40. What the what?!

52 Weeks: Week 11

Last weekend was taken over by St. Patty's, well more like Saturday was. It's a rare Saturday that Ben is off work, so we enjoyed hanging out as a family on the weekend AND outside because it was beautiful! Later on Ben and I went out to dinner and drinks with some friends and walked around downtown a little since Brewfest was still going on.

That bottom left pic is of our latest parenting hurdle. Whit has given up sleep for the most part, that night being the worst. He woke up ever couple of hours with either gas, stuffy nose or just wanting to play. That picture was taken at 3:30 am. Oy, it was funny and we kept our wits about us, but it has been rough! Wednesday I got my ring resized and finally look like a married woman again! And the upper left picture is of Friday's story time at the library. There were soooooo many babies and parents there. This was the first story time Whit was capable of being mobile, so the mama bear in me was clawing to come out. And boy was he getting angry with me about it. I wouldn't let him rip the scarf with his teeth, I wouldn't let him stick another child's toys in his mouth, and I barely let the parachute go over his head because I was watching a too-big kid stomping around under there, making sure he didn't step on my baby.

Oh man, Whit gaining a little independence... I thought I was looking forward to it, but I may need some Xanax to get through it.

Random life stuff

I finally got my rings resized and look like a married woman again! Huzzah!

Whit has noticed the reflections on the ceiling and walls when I was silverware. His face is priceless: complete wonder, mouth hanging open, eyes wide.

Whit has also started his gangster lean when riding in a stroller. At the end of a walk I find him leaned over on one side, head cocked, and one foot up on the tray-bar thingy.

The weight loss has kinda stalled at 20 lbs left to lose. :( I'm hoping it's just because the weather was so cold there for a while I couldn't run with the baby. I'm hoping we can start up again soon.

So much good TV on right now: Justified, The Americans, Psych, New Girl, and Game of Thrones soon!

Today Whit said "da", so we're halfway there!

He also tried to chew electrical cords. I'm considering bubble-wrapping the entire house. ::face palm::

52 Weeks: Week 10

Sorry I'm late posting this and haven't been posting much, but we've had a healthy dose of real life around here! The weather warmed up for a few days and everyone here got spring fever and had to be outside. Or, in my case, had to be outside working. I definitely got the "love to get my hands dirty" gene in my family. It doesn't always work out, but I'm so happy when it does. That first picture is of some pulmonaria Ben and I planted last year from very tiny seedlings. We did it a tad too early and I kept having to throw sheets over them at night, so I was shocked to see they survived and we're getting blooms already! The spirea has bloomed and is already losing those blooms, and not pictured, but our forsythia look marvelous. Ben's brother was in town a few nights, so we went out to the local seafood joint to enjoy some raw oysters and live music. And for once I didn't mind the band! Usually music around here is country, only country and it's just not my bag. Whit has been "experiencing" some new gear this week. I put up the swing he got for Christmas the first day it was above 60 degrees, and he loved it. I was throwing a ball for the dogs and he would watch and giggle whenever they came back. He's also spending more time in his pack n play, or as we call it baby prison. He just gotten so darn mobile, we have to put him in there to do anything, like go to the bathroom! He likes smushing his face against the mesh and blowing on it. It's the funniest thing to see when you come back in the room!

DIY toy, aka- Pinterest win!

Here's where I found the original tutorial thanks to Pinterest...

I've had the pin saved for a while now, just waiting for Whit to grow up enough to enjoy it. Plus, I had purged our closet yet again, it's a slow process for me when it comes to clothes, so the time had come! I cut out biggish squares from each shirt, skirt, scarf, whatever I had with pinking shears. The original tutorial mentions hemming, but I did not have the time, but did have some pinking shears. 

Stuff them into an old wipes container. I buy our wipes at Sam's, so we get a new container each time and I've got a few to spare. Just need to find some ideas for the others I've got lying around...

And BAM! Instant joy...

Mostly Whit enjoyed eating the fabric, but occasionally he would have a piece in both hands and start waving them around madly. It was so adorable! It's interesting seeing how he plays with it, because he'll do things I never imagined. Excuse me, that's the actor in me talking. Acting is always about the choices you make. So Whit will become fascinated with the top, opening and shutting it a bunch of times, and I'm just sitting there thinking "what an interesting choice". Who knew this kid was going to give me acting lessons, too?

This was definitely a success. One of the best things about it is if I put his boppy behind him it will buy me at least 10 minutes of quiet play. Long enough to get some dishes or laundry started, thank goodness!

I've pinned a few more of these to try, but most are for when little man is a tad older. Anyone else seen any good DIY toy ideas?

Happy Seven Months!

At seven months, Whit...

...weighs at least 20 lbs. Haven't done measurements yet, so I will get on that!

...is wearing 9 months clothes when it comes to outfits, but had to get bumped up to 12 months pajamas. Just because he's got such a long torso (you're welcome, hon!). 

...is still wearing Swaddlers size 4, thank goodness!

...sits up by himself very well. Occasionally he takes a tumble and falls HARD. He's *almost* crawling. Right now he crawls backwards great, he just can't seem to reverse it. He can go from on his belly to sitting up by himself (which was very shocking the first few times we saw it). And he can stand by himself holding on the the ottoman, with someone behind him of course. So I think standing may be soon...

...now has SIX teeth! Four on top and two on the bottom. And may be getting more, he's been drooling like a mad man this week. I can't wait for him to slow down and not wear bibs constantly. 

...now has a first cousin!!! By the way, that's what the asterisk is all about. We took his seven month old pictures at 7 mos, 3 days because on his seven month day I was in Meridian for the birth of my nephew, Logan. 

...and then Whit got sick. Friday night he projectile vomited all over me... three times. And boy did I learn a lesson. Don't try to cover up impending vomit, you'll just succeed in covering your baby with throw-up. And babies don't know to not open their eyes when covered in a watery substance. Worst. parenting. moment. ever. 

...has grown a taste for fruits since we've started Plum organic blends.

...has become fascinated with us drinking out of cups and cans. I can't hold him and drink out of a glass without him grabbing it and trying to drink it himself. And he's pretty good at drinking out of a cup. Much better than the sippy cups, which he managed to use the other day. Sort of. 

...loves chewing hoodie strings. And loves grabbing my necklace, hair and glasses. 

...finally likes books! He likes to chew on them! Just kidding, he also likes being read to now as well. 

...said "mama" a few times. AHHHHH!!! Since then he's only babbled a few times and started up his squealing again. And he loves it when I squeal back at him.

52 Weeks: Week 9

Obviously most of my pictures are about my new nephew, Thor... ahem, I mean Logan! It's been cold and snowing here again last week, so Whit and I occupied ourselves with homemade toys and around the house stuff. But then Tuesday I got the news that my sister would be induced the next morning. So I drove five and half hours by myself early Wednesday and got to Meridian just in time to say a quick hello to my sis and then things got a little scary.

She started throwing up (and apparently had done so all day) which started upsetting the baby, his heart rate got down in the 50's. So the nurses kicked all of us out and started calling the doctor to do an emergency c-section. They took her back to surgery so fast that her poor husband didn't get to go back before Logan was born! But thankfully, baby and mom were both fine. And boy is he a cutie! And just as aware as Whit was when he was born. Logan has already looked me dead in the eyes a couple of times. Of course, I cried. All these poor boys around such weepy women!

Oh it was wonderful being with my sister and her new little family for a few hours. I wish I could have stayed longer, but motherhood and work called and I had to come back home.

Oh I still want to cry and how precious little Logan is and how cute they all are together!

Mama

Today I was going to write a post sharing all these make-your-own toys ideas I've found and Whit's enjoyed, along with a few pics of him playing with said toys.

But forget that.

Last night, he said "mama".

Well, I'm pretty sure he did. I was eating supper and Whit was practicing his crawling technique when out of the blue I hear something that very well could have been "mama". I definitely heard the a's, but I'm not positive what was in front of them, but I'm going to say it was "mama" ;-)

Oh and let me tell you I melted into a puddle of tears and sappy, motherly love. I hugged him and tried to get him to say it again. All he would do is make the "m" shape with his mouth and his pterodactyl noise. It totally made this past week, with the whines, pooptastrophes, late nights, and Irish tempers, worth it.

sigh... "mama"!

And it makes today even sweeter! I had seen on someone's blog about a Mommy & Me link up at Everyday Love and wanted in on it. The world needs more pictures of babies AND their mamas!

I feared this day happening...lol